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~~♥ The Girl's Diary ♥~~
Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Disappointment

Can you please stop keep asking me for feedbacks at this period? Keep messaging me to ask for feedbacks and NOTHING else! I'm getting piss off with it. Why can't pple just understand the days that me and family are going through? Do you think I will be able to do/go for all these actitivies? Mother's Day testi / friendship day, SUN's concert...are they really so important? I'm already trying to cope with my work, studies and family matters,house chores while going to and fo in hospital. I'm reaching the peak that can't hold anymore. Do you know how I feel abt it? It seems I've been alone going through all the battles and pple are just too busy with the church activities. I feel so disappointed. Where are you when I need the support?

People always say i'm not open. But when I try to be opened, I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't feel that pple are listening n sensitive to my heart. And Why do pple keep expect me to take the initiative to share when I'm facing tough times? If you are not doing/feeling good, you would rather pple call you at times instead of you call them, isn't it? We don't have to keep telling or teaching others to be opened, cos pple will be opened when they feel your sincerity, infinite love and care, isn't it? Pple dun care how much u know unless they know how much u care! yes, it's true that Words are not enough at times. What vivien said was rite! - It's just your presence, phone calls, msgs or hugs etc that makes the difference, even if you do not know what to say. Aren't we were taught that actions speak louder than words? With these little things, ones can just feel your support and being by our side..

I know I shouldn't be so self-centered all these while..but suddenly just feel so weak emotionally..

In the hospital, my sis and me are just fighting the battle with the devil everyday. There are so many obstacles whenever we want to reach out to mom, leading her to Jesus. When we feel lost many times, I really wish God will send pple to lead us but there isn't.. What is going on? If the problem is on me, I pray that the lord will convict my heart n change me. But if not, perhaps I've just had to accept that that's the way of the church's or pple's culture? Anyway.. I believe God understands everything and he will still listen to my prayers and He will always be with me and my sis.

The DIVA ♥