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~~♥ The Girl's Diary ♥~~
Sunday, July 29, 2007

Deliverance

Deliverance session 2007- This was the second time I went. I don't understand why I always never experience God's spirit/ power/ touch that others? Why I can never experience God in the same way that others do? Does the problem lies in me or is it just that I will just never experience it? Many times I feel that I have already taken the step of faith to do what I need to do but why things still never happen/change? pple can just be delivered so easily and connected/ministered/touched by God so easily. Maybe I dun have the kind of spirit that I suppose I will have, and thus I dun feel manifested..?

The second altar call was abt fear and thoughts relating to death and suisided. A very young sister prayed for me. sigh...I think Not all leaders are sensitive to the HS. She keep praying abt the spirit of fear and bind the devil and the fear of death, keep asking me to take the step of faith to cough out. But everything was in human effort when I tried and I couldn't feel anything in me.

I still didn't feel total release for the spirit of death thots in life. Later another sister came to pray for me. And then they realised they hav prayed wrongly- the fear of death. Eventually, they asked me to approach my cg leader. ==

It has been a very long time that God sends pple to minister to me and speak into my life. Nobody is sensitive enuf to my needs and able to minister to me, understand me and help me, despite that Im open.-Hence, it makes no difference whether I share or not. But on the leaders side, we will always be taught to be opened and seek help from them n they will go through with us. Generally in christian life, sometimes when you want to follow the teaching, there is always something that makes you feel reluctant to do so. And this "something" is not what you cause it to be. Ultimately, what should we do then?

The DIVA ♥