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~~♥ The Girl's Diary ♥~~
Sunday, August 26, 2007

God of my Forever


GOD OF MY FOREVER
AND FOREVER I'M WITH YOU
MY LIFE IS SAVED
WITH A PRICE
YOUR SACRIFICE
REDEEMED MY SOUL

GOD OF MY FOREVER
AND FOREVER I WILL SING
MY GREATEST HONOR WILL ALWAYS BE
TO SERVE MY LORD AND KING*

The first time when we sang this song, my entire spirit was driven into the presence of God. I sang truely with all my heart telling God esp the last two phrase " my greatest honor will always be To serve my lord and king".

But the second time I hear this song today...I stood silently...All of the sudden this song led me to reflect the times from the day of my salvation, those path n struggles I passed through in family, til the day I made my decision to baptism and then those days I faithfully serving from then. I still rem I wrote to God in this blog "I've never regretted following you"..But I started to question myself who is this God in my life n that I've been trusting now? Why will I still not regret when I realise I've doubt my belief? Looking at where am I in my life now..I have no answer; just confusion.

All I know is that I couldn't feel His love anymore. When my life's in a mess, after clearing up, it's still a mess.. Grappling with problems after problems does not seem to mould me but it breaks me..1 cor 10:13 says God will not let us go through things beyond what we can bear..but I feel that it's enough of these now; Im left in shreds.

This day If I give up on you lord, perhaps I will be alittle happier? First, the devil will not attack me, Second, I will not have hope n struggles with you to find my directions, purpose and life. When I do not have hope, I will learn to look at the fate and let go and not feel disgruntled when there's no signs of breakthrough that I've been searching and praying for. I do not have to keep searching for your will that has no answer and what you want me to be. I will not be hurt when I see others enounter with u and experiencing ur blessings. Would things be getting beta? But I will still say, " I've never regretted my decision to follow u.."- truely from my heart..

Im confused..I do not know should I or should I not..



The DIVA ♥