Feeling pain at heart
I find myself really so Xin Ku every day when I go to work. Why would I involve in such politics for no reasons? Im just neutral but why just people didn't see that? They have conflicts with Jo is their problem ma..These have been getting from bad to worse. There are so many heart issues which I could not understand why am I being drag into it. I can't break the ice which I've been trying. I haven really have the chance to build the relationship with them in the first place..I have done nothing wrong..I wana be the salt of the light. I wana break the ice, break the heart issue..I wana favour... sob..
It's a mistake that principal has placed me n mag to be the Event IC, it creates more misunderstanding. I thought I can make use of this opportunity to step out. But I was wrong.
I really can't understand. Why are we here for in the first place? I thought all of us are serving together for the same purpose n that we should even work together for the best? Why should there have pushing of responsibilities n conflicts about these?
We went to China town as a school just now. Jo was on leave and I was asked to take over her class as well. Thank God for Alex to look after my marcus and Im really glad that Heng Wei didn't act up and was well behave through the outing with the visuals (photos) that I prepared for him. But the entire outing, I kept looking out for jo's pupils and their parents, making sure that they followed my class. Hai Ting's mum was like keep taking pictures on the way n lost her way with us. Then managed to find out that she was with the other group of teachers (evelyn's group) Evelyn asked me how? I also dunnno how cos I can't be asking her to go all the way back and search for me. Then I said can she followed her group then. I never expect that she replied " like that very clever lor.." then kap my phone before I wanted to discuss with her what's best could be done. Im very hurt lei.. Not just becos she kap my phone, but thinking what is this kind of working attitude as a teacher? Just let the parents to follow them only ma, she dun even have to look after the pupil, very difficult meh? We dun work for each other ma, but we work the the pupils, rite so isn't it that we shouldn't be so ji jiao? Ok, then never mind, being thick skin and I tried call back to tell her we meet at mcdonald lo, just dun want to spoil the relationship..then in the midst, I met the parent and wanted to call her to let her know I've found them already but she din reply.
I'm very scare that I couldn't take this kind of culture one of the days and break down. Initially I didn't feel affected but it seems to be getting worse n so obvious to see the favoritism n groups in this school. But as I look back and see how God brought me to this place lei.....Sob..How...Wish all these things will get over soon.. :(
